Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Sometimes life just bites.

Is it o.k. to post that? Maybe it is too late at night to be writing- but seeing as my husband is gone for week 3 of his travels staying up late is what I do (helps me sleep better). This whole traveling thing is another post in an of itself- what I really wanted to talk about is that fact that sometimes change sucks. Excuse my language- if you know me then you know that I dislike that word...alot. But that is my chosen wordage for now. 

We have moved a lot in our marriage- to be exact 9 times in the 7-1/2 years we have been married. (wowzers) seriously?? WHO MOVES THAT MUCH? We aren't even in the army! The interesting thing about that number is that we lived in Vegas for over 2 years...and that is the longest place we lived. Moving here I knew would be different- we still own our home in Vegas (kinda have to) but know that renting it out would be our only option. So to me, Vegas still kind of feels like home. We have made our home here seem like home- no boxes out, staying put for awhile- but how do you really do that when you know you are paying someone else to live where you are. You know that you will eventually move out of the place you reside in because who really wants to pay someone else's mortgage for the rest of their life? Yeah, not me.

And let us approach another item of business- making friends. How much fun can it really be to walk into a new area- approach women and say "Hi, my name is Samye- i am really cool and I can promise you that you will want to be my friend"...like 3rd grade all over again. Except now you have baggage, baggage in the form of a husband and three adoring children. De-light-ful. Wouldn't it be nice if we as women didn't have "cliques" if we could just stay true to who we want to be, be nice to everyone, and treat all equal? If we were more than willing and open to make friends with everyone? (I have found a couple women here like that...which has been nice.)

Really I have no reason to complain- we live in a great area, Halle went to a fantastic school this past year, I have made a ton of great friends that have been more nice and love the baggage that I come with, we live within a 4 hour drive of family, and my husband loves his job. Life has been good to us, we have been truly blessed. 

Maybe I just complain because sometimes it is  nice to hear something said that you want to say but haven't been able to voice (I share this with you)- and also maybe because my husband has been traversing the globe for the past three weeks while I tend to my baggage at home? Either way - change isn't always fun, but sometimes it must happen. You learn to live with it, let it teach you and to help you grow into a stronger human being. 

p.s.- How in the world do these women whom I know survive when their husbands are gone for months at a time? No flippin Idea- but let me tell you- are my hero for doing so. 

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9 comments:

kim said...

Oh Samye - I am so sorry! I totally agree with you. It is SO hard!! Jason has lived in Oklahoma every week since February and I agree with your word -- it sucks! I wish I had words of advice for you but it is hard no matter what. I guess what I am saying is, I understand. Good for you for venting -- I wish I could do that!

Amy said...

Moving is so so so so SO SO hard. It does suck. I think the feeling of being 'temporary' for whatever reason, is one of the crappiest feelings there is. Hang in there. You're an awesome, amazing person, and people will see that really soon. You're a good good friend, and they'll learn that.

jamie t. said...

Before we bought our home here in Rexburg we moved 8 times in 8 years. I understand. You are amazing and it is ok to complain! I feel the same way about friends. It takes so long to make good friends and I hated starting over each place we moved. Hang in there!!!

Sara said...

(((hugs))) miss you tons!

Ali said...

As I continue complain about being ready to move out of our parents basement and into our new home, I recently realized that I still am not done in our moving process. You nailed it on the head about the anxiety attached to make friends for not only yourself, but for your kids and trying to fit into an area where people are already comfortable. It's tricky and feelings can still get hurt. It is hard. Seriously, I can't imagine who wouldn't want to be friends with you and your cute kids. I know you're pretty pleased to be a Texan again, but just know that Utah would love to have you back!

Darin & Misty Ralphs said...

Samye, I absolutely know how you are feeling. We have moved 7 times n 8 years, way too much for my liking. This last move I decided that I can not do it again. I hate feeling temporary, I hate trying to re-establish myself (getting new students, etc.) and I hate trying to make new friends. It is tough, but you are a strong woman you can do it! PS people that have their husbands leave for long periods of time are my heros too. It is lonely and exhausting to be a single mom.

Emily B said...

It's funny to hear you say that you were worried about making friends. You were so friendly and fun when you moved into our ward. I imagine the girls in your new ward sensed that too. I'm glad you've found some good friends down there. And I'm sorry about Dustin's traveling. Kevin did that for just a few short months, and I had a really hard time. I don't know how you girls do it either. I hope time goes fast, and he get's back sooner than you know it.

Katie said...

You're my hero for surviving 3 weeks without your husband. I don't think I could last more than a week.

Jamie said...

I agree sometimes life just bites! And it feels good to say that!!! Love you:)